My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
