At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
