For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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