He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
