i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
