Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
