I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
