True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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