why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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