Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
