Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
