i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
