I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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