I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
