What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
