YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize