omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
