I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize