I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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