Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
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So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
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The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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