For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
