matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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