We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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