I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
