Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
