This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
