he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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