So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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