My sheets look like a crime scene.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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