So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
