If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
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You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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