first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize