I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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