Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
