can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
