Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
