What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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