i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
