mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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