You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
