wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
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I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
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OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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