I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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