Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
