How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
too bad you live with your parents still
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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