I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
