I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
