I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
