I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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