Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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