I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
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Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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