Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
