guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
