I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just want nice things and good sex
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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