that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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