she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
