p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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