if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
