Your dad touched me again.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Can I color on your dick again?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
