and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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