All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize