dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
