you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
it's great music for shaving your balls
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
