this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
