yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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