Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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