were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
