he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
