Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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