so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
