Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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