i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
